Conclusion: We can do this if we're willing, and we'll be the better for it

Conclusion: We Can Do This If We're

Willing, and We'll Be the Better for It

Thomas Jefferson Memorial

Thomas Jefferson

recognized both the

difficulty and necessity

of social change.

This may be scary for

some of us, but it can

be a sane, rewarding

experience if we work

together.

The above panel at the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, DC, reads: "I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

-- to Samuel Kercheval, July 12, 1810

Change is difficult, necessary, and possible

Yes, change is scary and hard. But it doesn't have to happen haphazardly or erratically. Gay people are going to gradually insist on their rights more and more as they understand more about themselves and feel less shame about their sexual orientation and lives. It is important to set aside your prejudices and let yourself know gay people. Repair family relationships with gay relatives if they're broken or estranged. Open your mind and heart to look at life in a bigger way. Affirm gay people and watch them live up to your affirmations.

As a country it would be helpful if we could calm our fears and decide how to proceed. If we are worried about the future of marriage, perhaps we should institute courses in our high schools and colleges to teach future generations about communication skills and how to develop self esteem. Offering help in conflict resolution and clarifying personal values wouldn't hurt, either. There's so much that can be done to improve the odds of a sucessful marriage that we don't do! It's also a shame that parenting skills aren't taught before people become parents. There's lots of good material out there. And, frankly, parenting skill are probably more important than math. A calculator is easier to find (and afford) than a child psychologist!

What you can do

	If you have a gay son or lesbian daughter, let them know explicitly of your love and acceptance of them. To see how one family did this, read this account.
	Get to know your gay family members, acquaintances, and co-workers. Ask them to tell you about their lives, and tell them about what it's been like for you to come to grips with homosexuality. Extend yourself to the gay people in your church and your neighborhood. Get past any initial feelings of discomfort you may have.
	Continue to educate yourself about homosexuality, and speak up when you hear others make irresponsible statements.
	Promote understanding through sponsoring programs in civic clubs and churches and inviting a gay person to speak.
	Tell others about this website:
		Send emails to friends and family telling them about this site.
		Make some "business cards" for this web address by clicking here and printing the following PDF file. Put the cards in your wallet and give them to people who might be interested.
		Access this entire site as one PDF file and print it to give to someone.
	If you have children talk to them about homosexuality. They know about it from school and the news. Answer their questions the best that you can. (Do some reading in advance if you need it.) Let your children know who is gay in your family. They will ask them their own questions, and perhaps let you off the hook a bit!
	Write your congressman/congresswoman and indicate your concern about the negative direction our country is taking to prevent gay people from being allowed to have equal civil rights. Ask them not to confirm anti-gay judges in high courts.

Thanks!

Thanks for getting this far in your reading. You've done a good thing. Hopefully, the material here will make a difference in your life and in the lives of those you love. Perhaps, in a small way also, it can help all of us who are Americans. And if you're not from the US, you're certainly not excluded from these wishes. Hopefully, things in your country are improving for gay people and for those who love them, as well. Feel free to write an email with your feedback about this site. If you're a long ways away, an email would be uniquely interesting. But if your thoughts are negative, be gentle--we all have feelings!

Additional Resources

About Homosexuality: Where's the Proof?